Under the Hill…Valentine’s Day Massacres

Writer Angela N. Parker presents her monthly column to news4usonline.com about life, love and being single./Photo: Angela N. Parker

Writer Angela N. Parker presents her monthly column to news4usonline.com about life, love and being single./Photo: Angela N. Parker

By Angela N. Parker

I was clicking through news stories on-line when I found a festive little piece about the Iranian government banning Valentine’s Day for being “too westernized.” Now, they aren’t the first to try and drive a stake through this cutesy “arrow-slinging” cupid beast.

 Every year you’ll find somebody railing against the “fake” and “commercialized” holiday “whose only real purpose is to make greeting card and candy companies rich.” Of course, these complainers are usually people who are playing for the other team — The Lonely Hearts Squad who’d rather cut their tongues out then admit that they are sad to be alone on Valentine’s Day.

But all this hoopla surrounding the coming of this day made me wonder, do single people set themselves up for a Valentine’s Day massacre?

Valentine’s Day, or IT as me and my friends refer to the day, is a thing of wonder and magic when you’re happily encased in coupledom, but for the rest of us Valentine’s Day is a dirty word.

IT makes us suddenly reevaluate our life choices — “I wonder if it was a mistake not to go out with Bad Breath again, after all, nobody’s perfect!”

 IT is a chance for everybody to remind us that we are ALONE — “Another Valentine’s Day alone huh?” AND to rub their relationship in our face — “You won’t believe what The Most Perfect Mate Alive is doing for me this year…”

IT is enough to drive a singleton mad with self-doubt — “Maybe I am a loser!”

Now, single people do all kinds of crazy things because of this day. We try to turn it into a day of self empowerment by watching anti-love videos, we burn pictures of the exes, or we pretend to ignore it, basically for the most part it’s a pity party all around. But what if instead of feeling bummed that we have no Valentine Day’s cards to call our own, we merely decide that IT has no power over us?

When we reach a certain age we put ourselves in boxes and life becomes more about what we don’t have then what we do have. We aren’t lamenting the loss of a body by our side on V-Day, but the perceived lack of love in our life.   

I’m the last person who likes to sound like a greeting card or an after-school special, but how much we are loved can’t be measured by who we spend one day with. It’s measured by the friends and family members who surround us every day. 

 As for finding Romantic Love, it is sort of like getting the measles when you’re 16 — a ridiculously random thing that is triggered by someone out of nowhere. In other words, buck up buttercup the odds of us being in love on that day are against us anyway!  

But seriously, see IT not as a day to expose our shortcomings, but as a day of thanksgiving, a day to love our life, no matter how imperfect it may seem. So, let’s enjoy our solo ride on the Love Train and when we do decide to let somebody roll we’ll do it knowing we want them, not need them, by our side.

till next month…

 Angela N. Parker is a writer of stuff. You can visit her Under the Hill blog at http://angelanparker.blogspot.com/ and her Writer’s Blog at http://theparkerverse.blogspot.com.  Please send any questions/comments to aparkeronline@yahoo.com. 

About Angela N. Parker 11 Articles
Angela N. Parker is The Director of Trainings and Programs at Jenesse Center. She is a Los Angeles based writer who has written five novels and is the Executive Director of Phenom Girls a mentorship program for middle-school aged girls.