Domestic violence robs Black women of life

By: Imani Heads /Archangel Apolonio

Editor’s Note: Content Warning – this story contains descriptions of domestic violence that may be distressing to some readers. 

Los Angeles, CA (News4usOnline) — Domestic violence is at an all-time high in the United States, and Black women are among those most disproportionately affected. Many face abuse at the hands of intimate partners or individuals closest to them.

In many cases, firearms are involved, leaving victims feeling powerless and trapped in fear.

 As a society, the narratives surrounding domestic violence and abuse have continued to shift. Once a relatively taboo topic – but familiar reality in households – the repercussions have revealed skeletons in the closet. Being that Black women, especially, are six times more likely than white women to be killed in cases of domestic violence, we wanted to shed light on what hasn’t been spoken about enough. 

During a conversation with an anonymous interviewee, she shared many grim revelations as a survivor of domestic violence. The dialogue included the nuances of domestic violence and how it uniquely intersects with the experiences of Black women.

“I never talked about it because I was afraid of the judgment. My lack of openness with my struggles kept my loved ones from comforting and helping me during my experience. It made my relationship look fine on the outside when it wasn’t. After the fact, when I began to speak up, I was judged and often asked why I didn’t just leave. One person even told me that it wasn’t considered domestic violence because I chose to stay despite what had happened.”

Black women are all too familiar with the culture of domestic violence. Intersectionalities tend to be an overlooked factor as to who exactly we, as a society, deem a victim. And thus more, who is worthy of help that is intentional. The lack thereof has often trickled down into a much sinister outcome for Black women, who lost their chance to speak before they can even survive. 

“Black women are often overlooked when they’re struggling. No one wants to hear us when we’re loud unless we’re on the news after being murdered,” the interviewee continued. “People question the validity of our statements and make us out as villains. If I had done something wrong to my partner, then I was told that I deserved it or my pain was less than.”

The U.S. Department of Justice defines domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another. This abuse can take many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological. It often includes threats or coercive tactics intended to influence and control a partner.

These behaviors may involve intimidation, manipulation, humiliation, isolation, or physical harm. The effects are not just emotional or physical—they are often fatal.

Take for instance, the aspect of psychological abuse. Being oftentimes one of the most easily overlooked methods of abuse, 53.8% of Black women have experienced psychological abuse alone, as reported by the Institute of Women’s Policy Research.

In addition to that, about 41.2% of Black women have experienced solely physical abuse. These numbers mirror a bitter truth; about half of the demographic of Black women as a whole are twice as likely predisposed to experience some form of abuse, one way or another. 

Despite the widespread harm caused by intimate partner violence, many Black women face additional obstacles when seeking help. Systemic barriers, cultural stigma and the fear of not being believed continue to silence survivors, preventing them from reporting abuse or accessing justice.

Overcoming fear itself can be challenging enough to dismantle. And within the framework of domestic abuse, fear itself can manifest into a feeling of mental confinement. The anonymous interviewee further emphasized this aspect during our conversation. 

“I’ve had many relationships throughout my youth, but my most recent one took the biggest toll on my mental and physical health. In eight years, you can learn a lot about a person, and I saw my partner in a completely different light towards the end. They weren’t always like that, but something changed in them, and I was too in love to notice until it was too late. There was a lot of coercion and gaslighting. I was forced to do things I didn’t want to do for the sake of keeping the relationship. I was told things that made me feel less than.”

While some manage to escape violent situations, others are not as fortunate. Many are threatened—or even killed—by their abuser using a firearm.

“I think too many people in power are trying to get rid of laws that protect victims.”

On July 18, the U.S. Department of Justice published a proposed rule that could restore gun rights to individuals currently under legal firearm restrictions. This has raised serious concerns among domestic violence prevention advocates.

If passed, the ruling could make it easier for those with a history of abuse to regain access to firearms, increasing fear and danger for women currently in or trying to leave abusive relationships.

Revealing some elements of her own personal experiences as a Black woman navigating domestic violence and abuse, the details the interviewee shared were not easy to hear.

“They often made me feel like I was the source of the problems, but my issues had stemmed from their mistreatment. I didn’t categorize it as sexual assault until after the relationship had ended. It hurt a lot to come to that realization because I had already experienced that previously from others, and they knew that.”

With the many loopholes legislation can wield regarding gun violence regulations, another question that lies is: how much impact will it potentially further add to the preexisting damage? Where can we as a society guarantee safety and protection to domestic violence survivors who are already statistically at a critical disadvantage?

“Something needs to change before more lives are ruined and lost to the impacts of these things,” stated the interviewee. “No one should have to experience this – or worse – lose their life over it.”

Firearms are said to be the most dangerous in domestic abuse cases, making the situation five times more likely that a woman can be killed.

Giffords Law Center states. “Women in the U.S. are 21 times more likely to be killed with a gun than women in other high-income countries. Critically, while gun use in domestic violence impacts all women, women of color bear an even higher burden. American Indian/Alaska Native women and Black women are killed in firearm intimate partner homicides at two and three times the rate of white women, respectively.” 

“I can’t say that I’m surprised. Not only my own experiences, but other Black women around me that don’t report problems in their relationships that haven’t gotten to this extent.”

In regard to the aspect in which Black women are less likely to report their abusers, the interviewee also elaborated on the lack of action pertaining to abusers.

“Probably the fear of not being believed or nothing being done to the aggressor. Sometimes you just wanna close your eyes and pray it’s a bad dream.“

According to Everytown for Gun Safety, “More than two-thirds of all intimate partner homicides in the United States are committed with a firearm, and 77 percent of these intimate partner firearm homicide victims are women.”

The same report found that the United States is the most dangerous high-income country in the world for women. An alarming 92% of all women killed with guns in high-income nations were from the United States. In fact, American women are 28 times more likely to die by firearm homicide than women in other developed nations—largely due to intimate partner violence.

In addition, the Institute for Policy Research tells us that more than four in 10 Black women experience physical violence from an intimate partner during their lifetimes. White women, Latinas, and Asian/Pacific Islander women report lower rates.

Black women face a particularly high risk of being killed at the hands of a man. A 2015 Violence Policy Center study finds that Black women were two and a half times more likely to be murdered by men than their White counterparts. More than nine in 10 Black female victims knew their killers.”

This information is further extended to younger Black women and girls. It has been reported by the website BlackHealthMatters.com that 1 in 4 adolescent Black girls ages 15 to 19 will experience physical and or sexual abuse in their lifetime.

This statistic alone reflects about 24% of girls worldwide. This also further cements the fact that Black women under the age of 30 alone are three times more prone to experience domestic abuse in contrast to those under the age of 40, respectively. 

“I got loud about my pain, but no one believed me because of my partner’s reputation and the one that was created for me by my partner,” the interviewee further divulged. “My feelings were pushed aside and I was judged on the false pretense of being a bad girlfriend. Now that I’m married, there’s a lot of things I have to unlearn. A lot of tough conversations to have with my husband. He understands and isn’t judgmental about my past. I know when to say no and he knows when to tell me no if I’m doing something that I don’t really want to. The trauma from my past rewired my brain in such a way it’ll take years to heal from but I’m making progress that I can see and feel.”

As domestic violence continues to rise, advocates and experts say the justice system still has a long way to go in protecting the most vulnerable—especially Black women.

“I hope that the Black community can do better for Black women and we can all come together as a country to make better laws to keep people safe.”