‘Red One’ tries to be hard

Red One is a different holiday film. There’s a gangsta polar bear. You have a Santa Claus who throws around weight dumbbells like it’s the thing to do and can give out a lesson or two on fitness. 

We’re not even talking about the hard-up, rough-riding snowmen that would have Frosty sitting in a corner curled up somewhere. Then there is the matter of Santa’s bodyguard (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) who nobody wants to mess with. 

With all of these badasses around, “Red One” blends the tradition of Christmas with “Die Hard” and “Rambo.” At least it tries to. 

The movie’s premise is that some hater somewhere decides they want to get rid of the Christmas spirit by doing away with St. Nicolas. There’s no better way to do this than to have Santa Claus go missing just days before the worldwide holiday. 

In a nutshell, Santa Claus (played by a muscled-up J.K. Simmons) gets kidnapped. It is now up to Santa’s trusted and loyal muscleman, Callum Drift (Johnson) to find him. With the clocking ticking, Drift sets out to get help in this quest. 

Marvel star Chris Evans (Captain America) turns out to be that guy as a flailing thief and the sorry presence of a father (Jack O’Malley). What “Red One” wants to do is make the film “It’s A Wonderful Life” meeting up with “Rocky.” 

You root for Nick (Simmons) while watching for the sleazy dealing O’Malley, who tries to get slick by turning a dime into a dollar every chance he gets. Eventually, O’Malley and Drift hook up to find the missing Nick. During this exploration trailway, Drift and O’Malley are confronted by angry snowmen operating as snow thugs. 

Meanwhile, O’Malley must also try to juggle the responsibilities of fatherhood. Mrs. Claus (Bonnie Hunt) knows what’s at stake and tries her best to keep the show going with the gift assembly line despite her husband going incognito. 

The villain in this holiday plot is Gryla (Kiernan Shipka), who knocks on Nick’s forgiving nature and wants to punish every child on the naughty list. Yes, the bad wants to show no mercy or grace for the child who acts up and becomes a bad seed. Interesting. 

This film offers to be a comedy romp with a dash of action-adventure mixed in. It’s funny at times. It has a little bit of drama with intrigue attached to it. 

At the end of the day, “Red One” paints our humanity on our sleeves and forces us to wear it no matter how ugly the blemishes are or how beautiful the exterior of the skin is. The good part of that analysis is that we all have the choice to be nice or naughty. 

Having a mediator in the middle like Nick can oftentimes help us in the way we should go. As in life, “Red One” shows us that there is going to be good trying to triumph over the wickedness of evil and that there are also those who straddle the fence between both worlds.

At some point, you have to decide what team you want to be on. 

“Red One” is 123 minutes in length and has a PG-13 rating.