Noted comedian Steve Harvey’s bestselling book, “Act Like a Lady,Think Like a Man,” has caused quite a stir on the dating scene. The box-office movie smash,”Think Like a Man,” which is based on Harvey’s book, have brought many ongoing questions about men and women and their approach to having a sustained and happy relationship.
Many people have found themselves rushing to the nearest Barnes & Noble bookstore or movie theater in search of some advisory tidbits that might help shed some light on the some nuances-good and bad-about both sexes in their dating quests.
The answer to dating success, however, either from a man’s perspective or from a woman’s line of thinking is not so easily derived from the pages of editorial content conceived and shaped by the opinion of one person. It is a lot deeper and more complicated than a two-hour movie filled with well-paid actors trying to convince the audience this is how the dating scene really works.
While both the book and subsequent film Harvey put out have proven to be commercial successes, it is not the full-proof solution to dating the right way. There is no such thing. Dating and matchmaking expert Nikki Faye, who runs Mix & MatchLA dating service in Los Angeles with partner-Mario Singleton, said she doesn’t believe that a woman must have the mindset of a man in order to get what she wants in a relationship.
A woman doesn’t need to think like a man in order to find dating success. A man wants a woman to be a woman, Faye said.
“At the end of the day, we’re going to think like a woman, we’re going to act like a woman, we’re very social. That’s what it is. We can try to be like a man or think like a man so that we can kind of fit in their world best.
“But I don’t think that is the right approach to get the desired results. I think if we’re going to start thinking like men, acting like a man…that is not what any man wants. He wants a woman-a soft-felt, beautiful woman-the kind of virtuous woman that most men are looking for. I really don’t think that is the right strategy.”
When it comes to dating there seems to be no real perfect antidote to take. There are different mechanisms that work for many types of people when it comes to dating. Some people find happiness through dating websites.
Others try the avenue of self-imposed emotional restraint as a way to find the perfect romance. Still others go on sexual sabbaticals they think will assure them of dating bliss.
There are some women who don’t want to think like a man in order to find the right partner. They prefer to think and act like a woman to land their man. They would rather rely on traditional method of dating to find Mr. Right. There are a plethora of advice books many people explore just to be able to find the answers to their questions about dating.
Then there are dating coaches like Faye, who work out different variables to play matchmaker for those individuals who’d rather someone do all of the work for them. What Faye does is look at exactly what her clients look for in a partner.
She finds out what they like or dislike and try to pair them with the person that fits into the description category she thinks will prove to be an equal match.
Faye started Mix & Match after hearing from close friends about how difficult it was for them to keeping going on dates to find the right person. Faye would offer up cooking parties, assigning recipes to both her men and women friends and they would meet up at her house for a nice outing, social mingling being a must.
After a couple of years doing that, Faye decided to go into the coach dating service full-time. She charges as much as $5,000 per client. Her clientele include a myriad of high-end professional and business people, ranging from celebrities to professional athletes. Her mantra is simple and to the point for those seeking her out for dating advice: enjoy yourself.
“I tell everyone just expect to have fun,” Faye said.
One big reason professional and upwardly mobile business people usually have problems connecting with the right person is because their schedule doesn’t always dictate time to meet other people.
“I think it’s really hard for professionals to connect,” Faye said. “We’re very busy. We have a lot going on. We have people in our lives. It’s a very difficult process. It’s not difficult to find a date. It’s difficult to find the right date.”
Faye went from parlaying her matchmaking skills to a group of close friends to making it a business that’s needed in the professional arena. One day she was telling her friends what they were doing right and what they were doing wrong. Before long, she became so acute at dishing advice to her friends that it was suggested to Faye she could play matchmaker for a living.
Faye took heed of that advice and ran with it. Now she finds herself smack in the middle of the dating playground. She tells men not to get hung up on just the exterior or physicality of a woman while roaming the field for potential dates. She advises women to not be so apprehensive in their approach to dating.
But the key to anything worthwhile it’s going to take time and work, whether it’s running a boardroom meeting or planning a social dinner with a potential hookup.
“Like with anything, it’s going to take time,” Faye said. “I think a lot of people aren’t willing to put in the time. I think with dating it’s a process. I think you should take the same amount of time and diligence to find your perspective match that you do with looking for a job. Think about how hard it is to find a job…it is the same thing with dating. It’s a very difficult process.”
Dennis has covered and written about politics, crime, social justice, sports, and entertainment. Dennis currently covers the NFL, MLB, NBA, NCAA, and Olympic sports. Dennis is the editor of News4usonline.com and serves as the publisher of the Compton Bulletin newspaper. He earned a journalism degree from Howard University.