Screw You!!

What the heck?!

Zimmerman is free, Obamacare faces more opposition, and lawd have mercy–Love & Hip Hop Atlanta ends their Second Season with an unexpected twist.

What is this world coming too?

Should we cry, march, or loot, laugh, riot, or shoot?

I mean, really? Neither of these issues are funny, I know, but I need to relieve myself. And what better way to do that than to laugh. My remedy: a comedy club. Performer: Screw “Roy” Rice. Born and raised in Cali by way of Eastside Compton you could say Screw was made for a time like this.

Born to Patsy and Roy Rice, this seventies baby and oldest of four, was a fool way back in the day. With strong ties to L.A., when his family moved to Compton in 1985, Screw had to adjust to life in Compton the hard way.

“I was scared of Compton,” Screw admits, “I didn’t want no parts of it, they was gang-bangin for real, for real–on our block. I got jumped on a couple of times too, but then I realized that if I didn’t fight back they would just keep messing with me–so once I started bussin’ dudes in the head with 40-ounce bottles–they left me alone.”

Compton has its negatives just like any other city but there’s one thing for sure; the people there are real and loyal to their being no matter what the situation.

“Don’t be fooled,” Screw says, “living in Compton is totally different than living in L.A.”

“If somebody don’t like you in Compton, they gonna shoot you–that day,” Screw chirps with a smile. “Not like L.A., you can kick it with somebody all day and all night and he might get you robbed at three in the morning.”

Screw continues in full-on mode: “Man, I thought you was my friend! We shot dice together! We went to yo baby mama house AND I helped you move her refrigerator! Now you gonna shoot me!?!

[Laughter]

Oddly enough it wasn’t until Screw’s former girlfriend got him on stage that he even considered a career in comedy. When asked about his least favorite moment on stage, Screw replies, “Ah, man, I remember begging the owner of the Comedy Act Theatre in Leimert Park to put me in the professional show. He put me on after Chris Tucker, after he had just done Friday and Money Talks. I got up there and bombed so damn bad…that’s when I knew I wasn’t ready.”

Screw is a self-proclaimed Renaissance man and known for being the neighborhood WebMD. He’s always giving advice on how to lose weight in the most efficient and effective way, however here, he cites an unpleasant incident while shopping.

“I remember boo-booing on myself in the grocery store,” Screw admits with a smile. “I was on a seven-day cleanse and they didn’t tell me I couldn’t pass gas, it didn’t say it on the bottle. I was so disappointed in myself because I’m like, I’m not sick or nothing. So, I kept on shopping. The only problem was that I didn’t want to throw away my underwear because they were expensive.”

And if you’re still not familiar with the brother that received a standing ovation after performing behind Kevin Hart at the Hollywood Improv three months ago, you better put him on your radar. Screw is loving life and he’s not ashamed to keep it hood.

“I love it when females be twerking on me for no reason,” Screw says.

Laugh Out Loud.

“I like women with tattoos and stretch marks, too. They got body but they still got stretch marks.”

Being blessed with his own “Screw The Rules Comedy Show” for two years straight, a regular at the J Spot, host of the G|S Restaurant and Lounge R&B Nights on Sundays, and Hollywood Improv on Mondays, this guy is destined for stardom.

Be warned though, cuz Screw can bring the rawness and grit of Redd Foxx and Paul Mooney at a moment’s notice. Screw asserts, “I perform at abortion clinics in Long Beach, too.” Ouch.

Hey look, life can be hard sometimes. And if you’re one of those people that needs a good laugh every now and then you should follow him on Facebook–or betta yet, go check him out.

You’ll be glad you did.